The definition of "epic fail"

I think that the definition of "epic fail" right now is life itself. As soon as everything is peachy and wonderful for maybe two days at most, life decides that being a bitch is more fun. Fuckit I'm so sick of having shit dropped on me and me scrambling like mad to patch up the leaky boat before I sink, or rather, before the next storm comes and threatens to capsize the boat for good. Mother fucking hell, I just don't get it anymore, seriously. Why the fuck am I sticking through this shit because I am so sick of this shit. Complete utter fucking shit. I am so fucking tired of feeling guilty for everything I want, skiing, wanting to spend time with people, not wanting conflict etc. At this point I am so ready to throw my hands up in the air and just let the sky fall on my head. I really thought getting accepted into university and paving the road towards the next step in my life would be a relief but I think the road is just getting destroyed by mad roadside bombers who just don't want me to be happy or give me two seconds where I can feel like, h'okay, shits good, I can take a breath without feeling like I'm going to get shot down any second. All I want to do is go about living life doing what makes me happy without feeling incredibly guilty for it. Is it really that wrong to want to be happy? FUCK. Oh and yesterday I cried for the first time in a couple of months, it sucked like no other. Ugh I don't want to fight this cycle again, it was hard enough the first time. [/rant]